So far, in today’s civ pro, we’ve discussed death by gang of hobos, and death by magic.

In which the plaintiff is diagnosed as “Moron, low grade.”

Also, it seems like nine out of ten ridiculous cases come out of the Philadelphia/Delaware area.

This problem would probably take 45 minutes on a test. Why don’t you take five minutes on it right now, then we’ll discuss answers.

My professor is nuts.

I just heard my 50-something year old professor say the word “sext.”

In this example where one person shoots the victim before the other person’s slow-acting poison kills him, I used to use John Edwards because he had that center here, and the only time he showed up was to have a press conference and clog the halls. But now, it seems unnecessary. 

- a professor who will not be named

If you want to bring this case, then go get mugged in some other state!

- Prof M., on Illinois tort law.

The Carrboro Police Department, led by Don Knotts, has arrested three people in its history. Tonight, they arrest four members of this class, all for eating meat. Can these cases be joined?

- Prof. M.

So, let’s say you decide to sue the town of Carrboro for, I don’t know, Carrboro being Carrboro. Let’s say they threw you in jail for eating meat… . 

- Prof M.

There is no alcohol that will get you through tonight’s reading. Maybe grain alcohol mixed with orange juice. But probably not.

- Prof. M.

If I didn’t brief my cases, I would look very, very foolish.